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QFW: IMHO...Marrying into White Privilege

Updated: Nov 16, 2023


As we continue to explore optimal mediums to reach our varying rainbow community, podcasting and YouTube Channels have always been top of mind. Mainly due to how relevant they have been in our family's life in receiving highly pertinent information from diverse creators. We aren't a big social media family. Perhaps you and yours are the same. So, what would be the best content driver for other The Q Family Way platforms?


Introducing The Q Family Way, In My Humble Opinion sounds off!


Have you ever had that time when you met a white parent and then found out they had a brown/black partner and felt they had an instant bond? As you continue chatting, perhaps they became as comfortable chatting about race as they would with their partner - making racially infused jokes and telling stories that emphasize the use of white privilege in their relationship. For black/brown or mixed people, specifically here in America, race is normalized in our everyday conversations, just as the weather would be. Sitting around eating a meal, telling stories about current or past events, and discussing personal experiences in an effort to find support. From early on in our courtship, I learned that the vast majority of white people do not grow up in a household that talks about race. Since the white race is not presented as "other," talking about race or race relations was taboo, impolite - or worse, used with racist connotations and language, usually knowing what was implied.


Now, as the races mix and build deep friendships and romantic relationships, those conversations are being discussed more at home, the playground, or chillin' at a brewery. When Danielle and I got together in 2013, there weren't nearly as many resources about race theory or white privilege. And if there were, people were less willing to educate themselves and still have those truly uncomfortable conversations for fear of "saying the wrong thing." Honestly, even in our own home, there were tensions and difficult conversations during the 2020/21 at the height of the Black Lives Matter movement. But what came from that was better education (informal and formal) and more conversations about the brutal reality of living as a non-white, less privileged person in this world. With more conversation comes more understanding; with more understanding comes more empathy.


With all that said, there are still some "perks" to a partner's white privilege. Take the time a parent on the playground mentioned to me how his wife (Latinx) had the idea of attending private school open houses so he could use his white privilege for the free food and networking. OR make sure your white partner is the one touring with home inspectors, appraisers, or when applying for joint loans - not because your credit isn't flawless but because you want to ensure the best rates and general agreements. Hey, from Gen X through Gen Z, we have to use the systemic racism baked into our societies to our advantage as we dismantle them. Plus, blended families are so darn beautiful and make the most gorgeous kids. Here's to a future of more empathy, love, and a true cultural shift.




What do you all think? Drop your comments below, share your stories, and know we can build something great together.

Thanks for the support!

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